i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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