Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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