How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
