hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
