i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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