An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
