And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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