I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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