He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
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He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
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I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him