If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
