that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
