You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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