New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
