i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I think I am morally bankrupt
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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