You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
