my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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