She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
