I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
