R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
