the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
