i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
did i walk over a car last night?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
