Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
