i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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