yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
