He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
