Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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