K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize