I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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