I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
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