he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
