Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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