he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
