her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
