We need to rekindle our bromance
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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