Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize