I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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