Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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