omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
