You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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