talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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