the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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