Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
