Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
