So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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