im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
