He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
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So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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