i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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