I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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