Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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