In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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