You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
