Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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