forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
