No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
