Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize