Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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