We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
