its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
