all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
