If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
