Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
where am i from again
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
