Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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