He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
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They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
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And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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